I Miss You
by The Last Princess of Hyrule
Summary: [HC, Celena1stPOV, FINISHED] Summary? Oh, uh . . . I want to tell you a story about a goddess named Hitomi and how I fell in love with her through Allen's stories.


**Warning:** Femslash (girl/girl).

**Disclaimer:** _Tenkuu no Escaflowne_ is property of Bandai and Sunrise, all rights reserved. This story is written only in the best respects and is not considered official by any means. No profit was made, and any similarities to other stories is purely coincidental. "I Miss You" lyrics are property of Blink-182, all rights reserved.

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**_"I Miss You"_**

By The Last Princess of Hyrule

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Rededicated to Rai Dorian, as it was originally written for her and it was disrespectful for me to ever claim otherwise.

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My name is Celena, and I want to tell you a story.

Actually, I should probably let Allen tell it. He's a much better storyteller than me. He's the one that told me stories about Hitomi in the first place. He always knows what to say, how to say it, and when. I'm so jealous. I hope someday I can be as good as him.

Oh, no, I'm getting distracted. Let me tell you the story and apologize for myself when I'm done.

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_**Hello there,  
The angel from my nightmare,  
The shadow in the background of the morgue,  
The unsuspecting victim of darkness in the valley,  
We can live like Jack and Sally if we want,**_

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I guess it all started when I arrived in front of Allen's mansion. You should really see this place. Three floors, white stone walls, beautiful artwork and decorations in every room, a whitewashed patio, and the entire thing is surrounded by trees. I _love_ trees. As I remember it, there weren't any trees in Zaibach, but I don't remember much about that place and I'd rather not bring it up anyway.

Allen gave me a bit of a tour when I arrived. He barely looked at me as he spoke, telling me about the rooms, himself, the Girl from the Mystic Moon, our family, and I didn't say anything to him. That first night we spent together was made up mostly of awkward, one-sided conversation from Allen, and me saying nothing. He was glad I was there, I could tell that, but I used to be Dilandau Albatou, one of his enemies, and he didn't quite know what to make of me.

When Allen showed me to my room, however, his actions changed. His expression turned kind of forlorn. "This is your room," he said with a sigh, sitting down on the bed. I stayed in the doorway. "I was going to let Hitomi use this room until we were married after the war was over, but I guess it's yours now."

"Thank you," I said. Those were my first words all night, but for some reason, me speaking didn't seem to impress Allen too much.

Allen got up with another sigh and headed toward the door. I moved aside to let him out. "Goodnight, Celena," he said, smiling at me. "I'll see you in the morning."

I backed toward the bed and sat down. "Goodnight," I repeated, not sure what else to say.

"I love you." He closed the door.

I sat still for a moment, these words I'd never heard before playing over in my mind. When he was talking earlier, Allen mentioned names and places I didn't know, and because they didn't mean anything to me, I didn't know how to react. Just like then, I had no idea what this statement was supposed to make me feel.

Yes, I'm really talking about love. How's this relevant? Don't worry, I'm getting to that.

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_**Where you can always find me,  
We'll have Halloween on Christmas,  
And in the night we'll wish this never ends,  
We'll wish this never ends,**_

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"Allen," I asked the next morning when he came to wake me up. "Who's Hitomi?"

"What?!" Allen looked horrified, as if I'd just said, "I'm going to kill Millerna." What was he getting so freaked out about? I just wanted to know who this person was that he talked about so much last night.

"You don't remember?" he asked in disbelief. "You—Dilandau—was always hunting her down, and you don't remember that? You—he—met her face-to-face several times."

I shook my head. "I don't remember lots of people. You told me a bunch of names last night that I tried to connect with faces in my memory, but there aren't any there."

"Hitomi was different," said Allen. "She was from the Mystic Moon. Are you really saying you don't remember?"

"I don't remember." Wasn't that why I was asking? I didn't say this to him.

He shook his head. "That's just impossible. After everything she did for Gaea, no one would be able to forget about her. I guess I'll have to tell you everything."

"Okay." There's no one better to tell you about the Girl from the Mystic Moon than the man who almost married her. That morning, he told me about the first time he ever saw her, when she was being attacked by the Mole Man who tried to steal her pendant. Allen had me spellbound the whole time.

"That necklace," Allen told me, "was the reason the Zaibach empire was so afraid of her. They said they just wanted her for her power, but I know they were terrified of what she could do to them if that power was in anyone else's control."

Every day, Allen told me a different story about Hitomi and the adventures they had together. His stories were stunning and romantic, as Millerna put it when I met her. It took a while, but eventually I started to understand the meanings of those words, as well as love, the emotion she shared with my brother. Millerna described it as feeling lightheaded all the time with butterflies in your stomach. She said it was one of the most wonderful feelings in the world. I thought it sounded a lot like being sick.

In any case, every day for the next two years, Allen told me about a beautiful goddess with a pure heart and enrapturing soul, someone it was impossible not to love. So I started to love her. I think.

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_**(I miss you, miss you)  
(I miss you, miss you)**_

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"Hitomi, Hitomi, Hitomi," I sang one day when I was out in the garden, just like I did every day. I didn't have anything better to do but sit under the trees. "Hitomi, Hitomi." I don't know why any self-respecting seventeen year old would be singing a song with only one word about someone they'd never met, but I did it anyway.

'Celena, Celena, Celena,' the wind answered.

I looked up at the grove of white aspens I faced. "Hitomi! I was hoping I'd be able to talk to you today!"

'Hi, Celena!' said the aspens. 'I missed you!'

"I missed you, too! It's been such a boring day."

'Really?'

"Oh, yeah." I stared up through the branches filled with heart-shaped leaves. "Millerna was over here all day telling Allen about her new marriage plans. Did you know she still plans to marry him?"

'She does?' The trees sounded interested in my gossip. 'But she's still legally married to Dryden.'

"I know. That's what Allen keeps telling her, but Millerna says she can find a way around it."

The wind rustling through the leaves made the trees laugh. 'That'll be the day. No offense to the Princess of Asturia or anything, but she's definitely not the smartest one in the bunch.'

I laughed too. "That's for sure." We settled into a bit of a silence as my laughter died away. I guess now would be a good time for me to explain about this.

Hitomi spoke to me through the trees. I know she did. Allen said she went back to the Mystic Moon after the war, but _I_ know she actually loved Gaea so much that she came back and decided to live in the trees around the Schezar estate. One day I came to sit outside under the aspens and they suddenly started talking to me. I'm serious! Yes, I know trees normally can't talk, but trees infused with the soul of Gaea's savior can, and they felt sorry for how I wasn't fitting in with the rest of Palas society.

No, I'm not crazy. Well, not crazy enough to buy all that if someone else told me, but you have to believe me. At first, I was just so lonely that I didn't care if the voice from the trees was real or not. I was just happy someone besides Allen was paying attention to me. After a while, though, I started to wonder about it, especially when I told Allen and he sat outside with me for five hours without hearing anything, even though Hitomi was talking to me the whole time. He said girls my age shouldn't have imaginary friends.

The nerve! I couldn't believe he'd be so hypocritical, when he ended every one of his stories with a wish that someday Hitomi would return to Gaea so I could meet her. After that, I was convinced I wasn't having delusions, and Hitomi was really speaking to me. Somehow, I'd find a way to prove this to Allen.

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_**Where are you?  
And I'm so sorry,  
I cannot sleep, I cannot dream tonight,  
I need someone, and always,  
This sick, strange darkness,  
Comes creeping on so haunting every time,**_

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"Hitomi," I asked that day. "Why do you stay in the aspens? Why don't you come out and let me see you?"

'What for?' she asked. 'I'm just fine where I am.'

"Allen doesn't believe you exist."

'Well, Allen's a bit of an idiot when you think about it.'

I blinked. "Really? I think he's great."

'Oh.'

"Couldn't you come out and show yourself just to me?" I suggested.

'Sorry, but I can't,' Hitomi said with genuine regret. 'I have to stay here. I can't let people know I exist. You know what people would say if they found out? You know what they'd _do_?'

I frowned. "I know, but . . . I love you."

'Love?' Hitomi sounded doubtful. 'I thought you didn't know what that was.'

"Millerna says it's a feeling," I tried to explain, struggling to find the right words for something I still didn't understand. "You feel sick, and you can't be away from the person you love or else the sickness gets worse."

'And do you feel that way about me?'

"I guess." I shifted uncomfortably. "My stomach's kinda queasy today."

'I see.' Hitomi didn't speak for a moment, and the wind whispering through the aspens was only wind. 'Well, I guess I love you too.'

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_**And as I stared, I counted,  
The webs from all the spiders,  
Catching things and eating their insides,**_

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Allen uses the expression 'walking on Cloud 9' a lot whenever he's around Millerna, which he says he picked up from Hitomi. It means the same thing as feeling ecstatic. Considering all this, I think 'walking on Cloud 9' was the appropriate way to describe my feelings when I got back inside the house.

"What are you so happy about?" asked Allen as I waltzed into the parlor where he sat by the fire.

"Hitomi told me she loves me!" I replied, doing a little spin on my heal in front of him.

"What?!" Suddenly I had his complete attention.

"I'm in love!" I repeated. "I have all the symptoms, too."

"Symptoms--Celena, this is impossible. First of all, you've never even _met_ Hitomi, and she doesn't live in the aspens outside our house. Second, even if you _did_ know her, you can't possibly love her. You're a girl—girls _don't_ fall in love with other girls. That's not the way the world works. Girls fall in love with boys, and boys fall in love with girls. You need to understand that."

My face dropped. "What do you mean?"

Allen sighed and rubbed his forehead. "You aren't in love. You're just confused. You'll understand eventually, and then you'll get over it."

"But I have the symptoms," I protested. "Stomach aches, dizziness, shortness of breath."

"Sounds like you're just ill to me."

"Allen—"

"If you're so sick, then go to your room."

Our eyes met, and I looked fearfully into his. They were completely devoid of any compassion, the way he must have looked at me when I was Dilandau. There wasn't any way that I could possibly convince him to give what I said.

"Allen, please—"

"Go!"

I fled, dashing off to my room. My mind was full of cluttered thoughts. Maybe he shouldn't give it a chance. Maybe he was right about girls loving girls, and it really _was_ wrong and impossible. How much did I know? I'd never been in love before. Maybe this was a different kind of love from the one Millerna had for Allen, not romantic love, but friendly love—platonic love.

I've never had any trouble believing what Allen told me before now, but this time, for some reason, I really didn't think he was right. I was _positive_ I was in love with Hitomi, and that she returned my feelings. Just like proving her existence in the aspens, I had to find a way to prove our love to Allen.

You're not falling asleep on me, are you? Are you? Oh, dear, I knew I was not good at this storytelling thing. I'll try to make the rest better, I promise.

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_**Like indecision to call you,  
And hear your voice of treason,  
Will you come home and stop this pain tonight?  
Stop this pain tonight,**_

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I didn't go back downstairs to try to convince Allen of anything that night. I felt too tired, and decided to put it off until tomorrow in favor of sleep. My mind, however, wouldn't calm down. There had to be a way to make Hitomi show herself. There had to. There just _had_ to!

There wasn't one.

Actually, that's not right. There was, but I didn't know it.

"Hitomi, Hitomi, Hitomi," I sang softly, rolling over to face my window. "Hitomi, Hitomi. I really wish I could see you. I really wish you could see me. Hitomi. One of these days maybe we'll be together. One of these days maybe we'll be in love." I waited for her to answer, for the wind to whistle through the trees and her sweet, airy voice to call back, 'Celena', but the room was quiet.

No, that's not true either. Ack, I'm so nervous, I can't even get my story straight. I'm sorry! Please give me another chance. I'll get it right now, I promise.

The wind was blowing, and pretty hard too, which was really odd because my window wasn't open. I thought about getting up to check it out, just to be sure, but before I could, a bright white light suddenly exploded in my room, and I was blinded. I blinked my eyes several times, and the blindness was replaced by some big, obnoxious purple spots.

"Hey, get out of here!" I yelled at them, swiping my hands in their general area. I know, I'm a moron, but what did I care how weird I was acting? There was no one else in the room.

Or so I thought.

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_**Don't waste your time on me,  
You're already the voice inside my head,  
(I miss you, miss you)  
Don't waste your time on me,  
You're already the voice inside my head,  
(I miss you, miss you)**_

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"Oh, my god! Who are you?" The voice that called out was a high, clear voice that reminded me of a solid bell toll. Definitely not my own.

"Who are you?" I repeated, still batting at the purple spots. I must have been scaring them, because they were slowly retreating and I could start to make out the person before me.

She was short—about four or five inches shorter than me—with silky, shoulder length golden brown hair and stunning green eyes. She would have been really pretty if it wasn't for the weird tight blue trousers she wore with the black shirt missing the sleeves and smudged white-frilled servant's apron. She was holding a sealed can with unfamiliar symbols all over it in one hand.

"What are you doing in my kitchen?" she asked, blinking and looking around. "Wait a minute, this isn't my kitchen . . ." She turned to me just as the last tiny spots were fading away. "Who are you?"

I took in a sharp breath as her eyes met mine. It was like a jolt went through me. Suddenly I felt like my stomach had flipped upside down, and I'd also run home from the palace without stopping. That's a long way, just in case you've never tried it. "Hitomi . . ."

"Hitomi? How weird." She smiled. "My name's Hitomi, too."

I gaped at her.

"Is this your house?" she asked, looking around. "I like it. Reminds me a little of a fourteenth century Italian villa. Have you ever seen one of those?"

I kept gaping.

"Sorry to drop in like this. I'm not really sure what happened." Hitomi rubbed her forehead and looked confused. "One minute I was trying to make dinner, and suddenly I'm here. I mist have come over here for something. Sometimes the heat makes me forget what I'm doing."

"Hi-hitomi . . ." I said again. I wanted to say so much more, but the words were stuck in my churning stomach, and I thought I might throw up if I tried to get them out.

"Did I startle you, or something?" she asked, giving me a concerned look. "You look kind of pale. Are you going to be sick?"

"Celena . . ." I choked out.

"Celena?" Hitomi looked even more confused. Well, actually, I couldn't tell if she was more confused or concerned. I was definitely acting like a nut-case.

"I'm Celena," I finally said. "You're Hitomi."

"Yeah." She gave me a worried smile, the kind doctors give mental patients—that "I'm paid good money to humor you" smile. People do that to me all the time. "Well, I guess I've bothered you enough for one night. Sorry for the rude intrusion." Hitomi turned toward the door.

Wait, wait, wait! I was screaming in my mind. This was really her, the Girl from the Mystic Moon, the perfect goddess Allen was always telling me about. She'd come out of the aspens for me. I wanted to ask her why she didn't want to stay and talk to me. I wanted to ask her a lot of things, but the only thing I could manage to spit out was, "I love you!"

Hitomi stopped. "Wait a minute here. You _love_ me? But . . . but, I don't even _know_ you!"

"Yes, you do! It's me, Celena Schezar! The one who always visited you when you were in the aspens. Don't you remember?" I started crying. I can't help it—sometimes I'm just a crybaby.

"Schezar?" Hitomi's eyes widened. "Do you mean I'm back on _Gaea_?"

"You've always been here!" I exclaimed. "Allen said you left after the war, but you loved it here so much that you stayed behind in the aspens behind our house, and you've been my friend ever since. This afternoon I told you I loved you, and you said you loved me back! Don't you remember?"

Hitomi backed away from the door into a bookshelf. She looked back at it for a moment, startled, then turned to me again. "Umm, I've been on Earth for the last few years," she said timidly. "And anyway, I can't love you—I'm still in love with Van."

I could tell she wasn't really sure about this last statement. It's pretty understandable, you know? She hasn't seen him for years, whether she's been in the trees or on the Mystic Moon during the time. I'm rather proud I could tell she really wasn't in love with Van like she said she was.

Well, even if I hadn't noticed that, I wouldn't have believed her anyway. "No!" I said. "You're in love with me, you said so!"

"But, I—"

"Allen said you never lied, so why are you lying now?"

"Geez, chill out. I'm not lying."

"Then how can you say everything that happened the last two years wasn't real?" I was crying really hard now.

Hitomi was silent for a moment, thinking. I guess I made a good point. "Actually, I don't think I can. I've always felt a little weird since I left here the first time, like I'd left some part of me behind. Who knows, that could be what stayed in the trees and talked to you." She smiled. "As crazy as it sounds. Besides, that would explain why I couldn't commit myself _fully_ to my boyfriends." She started laughing, but I didn't understand, so I stayed quiet. Her laughter ended nervously. "You're right, that was a bad pun."

"But, what about when you said you loved me?" I prompted, not wanting her to get too far off topic. The real Hitomi was turning out to be quite a bit different from the Hitomi in the aspens, but I kind of liked it.

Hitomi looked thoughtful, then shrugged. "Hey, I'm an open-minded girl. You never know who you're gonna love. I once knew a girl who was in love with my best friend, Yukari, except that Yukari's been going steady with Amano forever now, otherwise I bet she'd have given the girl a chance." She gave me another smile. I was really starting to like it when she did that. "You know, I don't really know if I'm bi or not, but I can always give it a shot. It might be a nice change from the dumb guys I always end up with."

"Bi?" Great, another new word I didn't understand.

"I forget, they're not really big on that stuff around here. Well, bi means you can go for either guys or girls." She noticed my continuing confusion. "You know, you're attracted to both."

"You get all the symptoms of love?" I asked hopefully.

"Symptoms?" Hitomi laughed. "There's a good way of putting it. Yeah, I guess so."

You want to know something wonderful about Hitomi that I didn't realize until that second? She's not really anything like Allen told me, and I was glad. She's fun, and carefree, and always talking and smiling—not the perfect, pristine, well-behaved princess he always said she was. If I'd asked Allen what Hitomi thought of bi people, he probably would have said she despised them and thought they should burn in hell. I'm glad I didn't ask Allen.

"So, you love me?" I asked.

Hitomi flashed me a grin. "Hey, I might. People act really weird when they're around someone they have the hots for, and I'm normally a lot less of an airhead."

"But, how do we find out?" I was getting worried. Was there a way to tell if your feelings were real or not?

"Well, I have two ways of finding out whether or not I'm going to make it with someone," said Hitomi. "The first one involves a deck of cards and twenty minutes, but I don't have them with me. The other way's a lot easier, and more fun, in my opinion."

"What?" I liked that look in her eyes—that playful, mysterious, and a little bit mischievous look.

"Come here." She beckoned me with one finger.

Okay, I should leave things here. What happened next is kind of private, and I probably shouldn't be sharing any of this anyway. I'll just go on. So anyway, after that night—What? You want me to tell you? No, I really can't. Seriously! Oh, fine, you won me over.

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_**Don't waste your time on me,  
You're already the voice inside my head,  
(I miss you, miss you)  
Don't waste your time on me,  
You're already the voice inside my head,  
(I miss you, miss you)**_

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Well, I walked up to Hitomi, and before I knew what she was doing, she grabbed me around the waist and pulled me right up against her. "You're going to have to lean down a little bit," she whispered. "Otherwise I can't do it."

Unsure, I leaned down. I trusted Hitomi. She wasn't going to hurt me. Right?

No, she wasn't. As I leaned down, she lifted her chin up and pressed her lips against mine. It was almost like a bolt of electricity shot right through the length of me, warming up my entire body. What a weird feeling, the soft touch of her lips, the pressure of her body against mine. Weird, but right. Kissing is one of those things that people do when they're in love, and it feels really good. Allen and Millerna do it all the time. No wonder.

All too soon, that sweet moment ended, and Hitomi pulled away. She looked up at me in shock.

"Whoa," she said, breathing a little heavily. "That was new. I've never actually kissed a girl before. I didn't know they tasted so good." She blushed, realizing what she'd said. "Yeah, there's got to be something between us. Not only are you seeing the completely geeky side of me, but Allen's the only person I've ever kissed that felt like that, and you're way better."

"I like that," I replied, smiling like a complete fool.

She returned my smile. "Yeah. I'm still not sure that I love you—you know, really, truly, we-were-meant-to-be-together _love_ you, but I'm sure willing to give this a chance."

"Okay!" I said. "I just have one question."

"Yeah?"

"Will you kiss me again?"

She did, again and again, and each time was just as good as before.

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_**I miss you, miss you,  
The voice inside my head,**_

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So that's how the Girl from the Mystic Moon finally left her beloved aspen trees and showed herself to me. No, actually, she was never in the aspen trees. She was on the Mystic Moon. Again. And she came back because I wanted to see her so bad. I think. Now look what you did! You got me all mixed up just because you wanted to hear about my private moment! Don't worry, I forgive you.

What happened after that? No, not more private stuff. Sheesh. Hitomi and I started "dating," whatever that was. Mostly we spent a lot of time together, and she kissed me a lot—I kissed her as well—which was very nice. We're still together right now. It's been about four months since she came back to Gaea. Hitomi says that's the longest she's ever been with someone without going crazy. I'm certainly glad!

Well, I guess there's nothing left to tell. Sorry if I completely bored you. Allen says I talk too much now that Hitomi's around. Oh, Allen still thinks I'm not really in love with her, but I don't care. When it comes to love, he's really not the person to ask for advice.

Umm, so that's it. What do I say now? Oh, yeah . . .

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**THE END.**

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End file.
